i'm runnin' against the wind

You realise that something is different, changed somehow. You know it's changed when the rain outside your window sounds incessantly chaotic instead of being the usual soothing pitter-patter. Constant non-saline tears of heaven. Shitty cliche. Something's changed when you sing along with a song incorrectly, when instead of singing 'I wish that I could turn around' you sing 'I wish that I could let you down.'

I'm being told repeatedly that the question of right or wrong does not concern me. I understand that tragedy doesn't concern itself with the one that it befalls or with black and white, that the deserter is as much at a loss as the deserted, perhaps in a sense more so because the one who lets go first carries the albatross' dead weight for all time to come. So maybe I agree that right and wrong needn't concern me in my capacity as lawyer/legal advisor. But being told that worrying over the 'truth' of the matter also doesn't concern me - well, that just worries me more.
In fact, it perplexes me in a way that questions do when I know that I'm alone in thinking about the answers and that I know the answers, as does the world but the world will pretend it does not know or that it sees a different answer or better yet, that as far as it is concerned the very question that I posed doesn't exist.
To see justice being done, or justice as a part of the larger picture - the legal system doesn't bother with such trivialities.

I'm not a child. I knew this was how it worked. Works even now. Perhaps will always work. It just amazes me that so many human beings collectively decide to stand and fight for the muck of the world. To stand and fight for all that's ugly and incoherently twisted. And that they can't see themselves and their foolery.
Maybe they ought to stand where I'm standing. Just once.