broken pieces of some of the all that makes me

Each year
a little farther
we move along the tangent of our lives

a bit fartherer
not from where
we began but from where we
stopped

I wish I could say with honesty that I've forgotten. Or forgiven.
I wish I could say honestly that I remember. Or that I care.

*******

I saw with my very own eyes, heard, felt with my own mind and heart. I still couldn't believe. Sometimes, in the silence of the night when one can hear drops of water trickling from an unclosed tap, interspersed with the violent conversations of the lil dog with the strays outside, when I can hear the tick-tock of each second of time and my irregular heartbeat making strange music -- sometimes when the night is threateningly calm I still refuse to believe.

*******

They talk of jealousies of long ago, jealousies that gnaw at their stomachs yet. They whisper meaningless fragments from forgotten songs of desire love lust, remembered now with ghostly aching minds. They wail softly about confessions left unconfessed, lament pitifully the utterance of a harsh word where none was required.
Strange, I think, that we mourn the death of the living while the dead mourn their lives ill-spent.

*******

War to establish peace, whatever the fuck that means. Passing through a mayhem of torn bodies strewn on bloody streets, of mutilated fingers dabbing in puddles of muddied red. This silence is not peaceful calm, it's the morbid sickening silence that pervades each atom of the air at the birth of a stillborn.
The birth of death.

*******

Pain, move thee farther.
Love approaches and my heart hides in the
shadows.
It beats, the Earth reverberates
My secret place is given away.
You found me didn't you.
Didn't you?
I knew you would.
I knew.

*******

An empty house where you can't even hear the creeks. But you can imagine.
Construct a sleepy sound to fill the empty spaces. Pretend you can hear. Pretend you're not alone. Just so it hurts more when you wake to the fact that you are. With 77 gazillion people around, you're still alone.
Gah.
Prettiest sentence I heard today : "Don't hide behind language."

*******

What happened why how when
all questions are pretense
Because the answers I remember by heart. .

*******

I wonder if he thinks about the past. I'm sure he does. Not because I know I do, but because how can he escape it?

it aches, it burns
there was love in it once.
Once.
now it roams haunted streets at 3 am
bereft of people, abandoned by ghosts
plagued by phantoms of the mind
fiery with silent rage, it kills.

two down
the world to go.

*******

He stands there everyday. Just waiting. Waiting to kill, or to get killed. He stands there so that I may become a lawyer. Hide and seek, with life and death, he plays all the time so that I may play with words, relentlessly chasing the dream of eternal justice.

One day, Death will say "I spy you".

The pseudo-necessity of war and armies, the pointlessness of soonering the event of death. Ending another human being's Life to protect a line, or the piece of land behind that line.

The stupid blindness and tragic hopelessness of it all.

*******

Leave the lights on
so that I can see

I can see leave the
lights on
For all the memories

Oh see them fade away
see how they fade
fade away

*******

****

**